Who Are You in Star Wars: The Old Republic?

In Star Wars: The Old Republic, you can be whatever the hell you want, which is crazy. Choosing which job, and which planet of origin properly defines you as a player is tough (what no Ewok space pirates?!). But don’t worry, we got your back. We’ve analyzed your wants and desires, and picked the best options for you, the average Star Wars: The Old Republic player… who may or may not write fanfiction and regularly edit Wookipedia. 

You’re a smuggler. You don’t take guff from anyone. You shoot first (get it?) and don’t care if that meme is outplayed or old. But you’re also smoking hot. Your costume is an amazing piece of crossplay that would have nerds at Comic-Con literally drooling all over their Star Wars parody t-shirts. You picked this class not only because you get to utilize stealth and deadly accuracy, but also because you want to fly around with a Wookie. And in Star Wars: The Old Republic, you get to.

Who said Zabraks are evil? Sure, the only notable one in the films killed Qui-Gon Jinn and they all look like something Satan himself kicked out of hell so he wouldn’t have to look at them. But there are good Zabraks (presumably). They have hair, and blue lightsabers, and you’re going to restore their good name using formidable Force powers, and a perfect balance of offensive and defensive skills.

You’re hot, you know it. If you were a trained dancer who had been tricked into a life of servitude by Bib Fortuna you would so totallyget eaten by a Rancor. But behind those supple, engorged tendrils is a brain, and possibly a heart, we’re not sure how Twi’lek anatomy works. The point is that if you’re a Twi’lek, every male in the galaxy will want to be at your side to help you out with missions:

 

Hey baby, need some help?

Or maybe to just watch.

 

Ok, that dude is a creeper.

There’s a lot to like about the Consular class. You have a lightsaber, but your real power is The Force, and you wield it like nobody else, offering the ability to heal teammates, and kick butt. But more importantly you get to run around with this guy:

That’s Qyzen Fess, and he was a bad-ass Trandoshan before Bossk had ever hatched (Trandoshans hatch from eggs, right?). You can’t ask for a cooler ally by your side. Seriously, he is the coolest one in the game.

Near-human, more like near-perfection, am I right? You know that skin the color of pea soup may not make most people swoon, but a Mirialan is so much more than that. They’re basically the kung-fu monks of the galaxy, rigorously trained both spirituality and physically. You see those tattoos? They get those for completing tests and reaching levels of aptitude. Yeah, that’s right, they tattoo their Achievement Points onto their face.

Seriously, you just wanted to be one of those bad-ass bald chicks like the villain in The Clone Wars, but apparently Rattatakis are something different? Well, they look nearly identical, and they are also hardcore warriors, so you guess it’s close enough. But on the safe side you better be prepared to explain to people the sublte difference between the Rattataki and the Dathomirian. For instance, your race isn’t based on witches who had sex with a bunch of Darth Maul’s relatives.

 

He’s sad because his kids died in their planet’s most popular reality TV show (not a joke).

We know, this doesn’t even touch on all the races and classes in Star Wars: The Old Republic. We completely left out the Chiss, an entire race who looks like Nightcrawler from the X-Men. Do you know who you’re picking to save/destroy The Old Republic?